It is about 12:30am and the music is loud the house is packed with all sorts of people. A young guy is passed out on the couch and in the distance I can hear someone puking in the toilet. A couple of my friends are naked in the swimming pool and one of my male friends is trying to pick up his “lay” for the night. My “date” has already left with one of my friends for the night. I think it had something to do with the fact that I told him I don’t do sex on the first date. I feel a bit hurt and all I want to do is go home but my ride home is smoking weed somewhere on the property. A friend offers me a drink, I decline and say, “No, thanks I don’t drink.” The reply, “Oh you are such bore!” And I was left alone.
This was almost 20 years ago but I don’t think much has changed since then except for the amount of invites I received after that event. It is normal in our society to accept the dangerous and macabre sense of lifestyle. We laugh at others in pain and joke about their misfortunes. When you don’t act in the same manner suddenly you are the odd ball the bad one and the one who wont conform. And the ironic story behind all of this is that when something goes wrong whom do we blame? Why it cannot be our bad sense of judgment because everyone does it surely, so it can be ok? Right? We live in a society where being the bad boy or girl is cool or in fashion. Where drugs and alcohol is glamourized and made to look ok and acceptable. Advertising is the worst culprit and is always using sex to sell and relating alcohol to glamorous lives with fun and excitement. You must look the part and have the right drink. Gone are traditional values and thoughts when you have a drink. This is a lifestyle for sale and everyone wants it. And our youth are the most vulnerable to this exposure. It is difficult to have a balanced lifestyle and when you find it keep it. Make sure that you surround yourself with friends with similar outlook on life. It is so easy to go from balanced to reckless.
I would regularly question myself when I was young why I did not fit in anywhere. I never did any harm to anyone I loved to party but just not the way they liked to party. Many nights I cried to sleep feeling rejected for being the “Good Girl”. Should I do what they all did to be accepted? But then it would go against what I believed in. So I left it. Now I am a lot older I look back at these situations and I thank God for being rejected. I have had countless discussions with my husband regarding this. Often I was called judgmental, but I was never the one who judged. There are so many sides to this argument that you could talk and talk about it all day and night. No matter how much I try to make this article non-biased the fact remains it will always be biased. As long as humanity live the way they do there will always be that great divide amongst us. Those who follow and those who lead by example. The choice is yours. You can be your own person and lead by example or follow the crowd. Whatever crowd, its your choice but make sure you clearly understand the consequences of your actions and choices you make. Are you living the life you really wanted or are you living the life that another has? Can you make your own choices that reflect who you are? It’s so easy to get caught up in another friends’ life and forget your own needs and wants.
The first thing and the best thing I remember about Sunday school was being told, your body is a temple of God. I loved this and to this day I will live by this rule. If there was a giant temple outside your house that was strictly for God, would you go in their and have raucous parties, smoke, drink take drugs and have sex with anyone who offered? Would you do this in your church? The answer to anyone would be, “Of course no! Are you crazy?” Well then why do it to your body?
When I go to a braai or get together with friends now there is a different scenario. There is the person who has a drink now and then and maybe a smoke when they drink. Someone who drinks to be part of the crowd and one who abuses it. And worst of all the one who insists on offering you several times even though you have told them no. I have come to think of myself as the little label on the cigarette box, the one that says, “Smoking causes cancer”. Even though I never say anything somehow I make people feel uncomfortable to the point that they will get up and move somewhere else. Luckily to the new laws in South Africa most people have stopped smoking for health reasons and don’t drink because of driving. But somehow there still is those few who think their ego driven habit should be acceptable to everyone. I say ‘ego driven’ as there is no other way to describe a person who drinks and smokes heavily. They abuse these substances to such a degree that it will affect everyone around them. They insist on their rights being important but forget to note the ones who have no choice but to be involved. You might say then, “Stay at home if you don’t like it.” Well I could but is that fair? Why should I not enjoy socializing because of this? Where is the balance and the respect for others? If you need to drive then don’t drink. If you want to smoke go to a smoking section. Don’t impose your choices on others and expect them to rally around you non judgmental when you need a drive home. It’s wrong to take advantage.
We are entering such an important doorway for humanity now. Our conscious mind and souls are evolving now to something wonderful. We as a human race have accomplished so much and yet we still cannot control our egos and the need to self gratify and self sooth ourselves. We have created an environment that has become socially inept to such a degree that we no longer hear each other’s voices. We don’t listen to each other and we show no compassion. We become obsessed with our own needs and what we think we need to feel better or look better. The consequences of the choices is never questioned or thought about. Most times it is a last resort when something goes wrong. When we can no longer hide behind the façade of happiness created or induced artificially by stimulants we use technology. No one can see our sadness or discontent with life through social media. We twitter, BBM and Watsapp our friends and pretend to be something else. No longer do couples stare lovingly at each other or friends look at each other during conversation. Their faces are hidden behind their cell phones and iPads. We conquer one addiction and replace it with another. Can we evolve and see through the curtains. Can we look at life the way it was meant to be? Embrace who we are and what we are. Accept our differences, our pain, anger and frustrations in life and move on. All these things make us who we are and that is just the way God wants us to be.
I will end this with a question from: The Power of Kabbalah by Yehuda Berg
If people are the essence of desire, and the universe is flooded with light, what’s standing in the way of our everlasting happiness?
– A curtain.